Gil from Realweegiemidget reviews tagged me a (long) while back to write about a soap opera in an article she wrote about The Colbys insane final episode which (spoiler warning) ends with Fallon (Emma Samms) accepting a lift from a passing spaceship after her car breaks down in the desert. In terms of 1980s’ TV there’s arguably only one finale which is more out there. Dallas closing its 9^th season with Pamela finding her dead ex-husband Bobby Ewing (Patrick Duffy) in the shower. Both storylines would later be explained away as being dreams, although Fallon’s space travels were left unresolved lending their existence a certain ambiguity. The Colbys might have been cancelled, but Fallon returned to its parent show Dynasty (and planet Earth) where she had nightmares about being abducted by aliens for a few episodes before the storyline was quietly dropped save for Sammy Jo (Heather Locklear) making the odd barbed comment. Dallas however had been emphatic about killing Bobby in a hit and run accident. By bringing Duffy back they had to write off an entire season’s worth of storylines.

Season 9 had already resolved a couple of major story arcs. Sue Ellen’s on/off affair with Dusty Farlow (Jared Martin) fizzled out and she returned to JR (Larry Hagman), while Pam’s investment in an emerald mining project headed by Matt Cantrell (Marc Singer) failed when an earthquake destroyed the mine. The finale ‘Blast from the Past still had to resolve a convoluted tale of espionage and murder involving Angelica (Barbara Carrera) who seems to have borrowed Mayday’s outfits from A View to a Kill (1985, John Glen), and Pamela’s wedding to Mark Grayson (John Beck). The last three episodes had teased an intriguing new storyline as well. The arrival of enigmatic new ranch foreman Ben Stivers (Steve Forrest) who seemed to have some unexplained emotional connection with Southfork and whose presence was beginning to arouse the suspicions of Ray (Steve Kanaly).

Rumours Duffy would return in this episode seemed to be sleight of hand. Especially during the last few moments when it seemed to reach an explosive finale with Jamie (Jenilee Harrison) apparently dying in a car bomb meant for her brother Jack (Dack Rambo) and Sue Ellen walking into J.R.s office just as another bomb explodes. The exterior shot of the side of the Ewing Oil skyscraper engulfed in a massive fireball would see like the perfect final shot for a cliffhanger ending. Instead, it cuts to Pam sleeping in her bed and in the closing few seconds waking to find Bobby in the shower lathering himself in shower gel.

Audiences had a few months to ponder over a solution to this ending. Was Bobby really back from the dead? Was Pam hallucinating? Had Patrick Duffy returned as his character from the Man from Atlantis? The episode title Return to Camelot, a nod to Jackie Kennedy quoting the Arthurian musical Camelot (1967, Joshua Logan) to describe her late husband’s Presidency, gave a hint at what’s about to happen. “Don’t let it be forgot, that for one brief shining moment there was Camelot” For the producers of Dallas their shining moment was pre-1985 when the show regularly topped the prime-time ratings until Dynasty unseated them in 85’ and a season without Patrick Duffy left them languishing in 6^th place, 12 million viewers behind The Cosby Show. This 2-part episode would be their restoration, returning Duffy to the opening credits and the heart of the show.

Return to Camelot opens with a reprise of Pam waking up and approaching the bathroom, only this time there’s faux Bernard Hermann Psycho shower scene type music playing on the soundtrack as she gets closer to the door. Apparently when Victoria Principal filmed the finale, she thought she was reacting to Pam finding her new husband Mark Grayson collapsed in the shower while Duffy filmed his scene separately to keep his return secret. The revelation is dealt with briskly. Pam tells Bobby she had a nightmare and he assures her “none of that happened” and somewhat anti-climatically the reset button has been pressed.  The rest of this two-part episode sets about reminding viewers what storylines had to be resolved at the end of season 8 and setting up new arcs for season 10.

Grayson is once again missing presumed dead having deliberately crashed his plane after discovering he had cancer. Pam spent most of season 8 searching for proof he was still alive until discovering JR was gaslighting her by hiring a pilot (James Cromwell) to feed her false information. Weirdly Grayson’s return from the dead in season 9 feels dreamlike, with him appearing suddenly from out of nowhere. Somewhat ironically Pam asks him, “Tell me I’m not dreaming.” So much for that storyline because it’s now part of what Pam calls a “nightmare.” The strange thing about Pam’s nightmare is for most of the people involved in the show they’re in a better place (at least until Angelica’s bombs go off). Grayson’s alive. Sue Ellen’s sober. Miss Ellie has turned back into Barbara Bel Geddes after spending a year as Donna Reed. Ray and Donna have saved their marriage and are learning sign language so they can communicate with their adopted deaf son. Jack has been accepted as part of the Ewing family and even teamed up with JR to take down Angelica. Christ, even Cliff Barnes is happy.

Angelica’s bombs would have ended that happiness but it’s jarring seeing Cliff and Jamie fighting again. It looks very much like Ken Kersheval was trying to keep a straight face during these early sequences where Cliff is knocking back the booze and acting like a whiny bitch. Another character who is cruelly dealt with is Jenna (Priscilla Presley). Bobby had been on his way to tell Jenna he was leaving her and returning to Pam when he was killed in a hit and run. Now there’s nothing stopping him breaking Jenna’s heart. Though in a darkly comic moment Pam hears a car-horn when Bobby’s about to leave and jumps out of her skin. Jenna naturally doesn’t take the breakup well and becomes embittered for the rest of the season which makes the Ewing’s golden boy look like a bastard. Speaking of bastards JR is scheming against Jack and toying with the idea of starting a nuclear conflict in the Middle East to stop cheaper oil coming in from abroad and hike up US prices.

The strongest storyline to emerge during the dream season occurs in the last three episodes when ageing cowboy Ben Stivers (Steve Forrest) turns up at Southfork looking for work. He’s a stranger but seems to have some emotional connection to the ranch, which is never fully explained though it is hinted at when he sees a picture of Miss Ellie’s three boys, JR, Bobby, and Gary (Ted Shackelford) on a mantelpiece. I’m assuming the decision to bring Duffy back was taken quite late, because it makes no sense to start a story arc like this if they knew they were going to do a reset. They bring back Forrest for season 10 playing essentially the same character although he’s now called Wes Parmalee. Only this time they rush through his introduction and reveal his motive for being at Southfork far too early.  Weirdly this also means Pam’s dream was partly a premonition, a harbinger of another potential return from the grave. Personally, I think they missed a trick by not allowing more of Pam’s dreamworld to seep into reality. They should have leaned into the craziness of what they had done rather than turning away from it, and ended every episode with Pamela sleeping as the credits rolled just to mess with the audience’s heads.